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Roadrunner Versus Wile E Coyote Discussion

This debate/discussion occurred on 28 Oct 2022 at 13:30:00...

Discussing an amusing news story where a roadrunner jumped into a park ranger's passenger seat in the Lost Dutchman State Park in Arizona

Me Trying to avoid Wile E. Coyote.

Me That's an Acme(TM) exploding cactus you can see in the background. Ol' Wile E is up to his tricks again!

Them Or it could be a Acme self-ejecting cup holder.

Me Ah yes. Didn't think of that. The coyote is getting even more wily!

Them Or it could be the sneaky exploding pen, just behind him. Bond, James Bond has obviously got a sideline, selling his castoffs to ol' W E C.

Me I don't think Wile E's castoffs would be much use. Not only do they always fail, but they fail explosively!

Them No, his castoffs wouldn't be any good but Bond's might be.

Me Yes, I got that around the wrong way. But Wile E can only purchase supplies from Acme, so used Bond stuff isn't allowed.

Them Right. I'll bow to your superior knowledge of this character.

Me Please note rule 7...

1. The Road Runner cannot harm the Coyote except by going "beep, beep."
2. No outside force can harm the Coyote - only his own ineptitude or the failure of Acme products. Trains and trucks were the exception from time to time.
3. The Coyote could stop anytime - if he were not a fanatic. (Repeat: "A fanatic is one who redoubles his effort when he has forgotten his aim." - George Santayana).
4. Dialogue must never be used, except "beep, beep" and yowling in pain. (This rule, however, was violated in some cartoons.)
5. The Road Runner must stay on the road - for no other reason than that he's a roadrunner. This rule was broken in Beep, Beep, in a sequence where Wile E. chased the Road Runner into a cactus mine. And also in Fastest with the Mostest when Coyote lures Road Runner to the edge of a cliff.
6. All action must be confined to the natural environment of the two characters - the southwest American desert.
7. All (or at least almost all) tools, weapons, or mechanical conveniences must be obtained from the Acme Corporation. There were sometimes exceptions when the Coyote obtained other items from the desert such as boulders to use in his attempts.
8. Whenever possible, make gravity the Coyote's greatest enemy (eg falling off a cliff).
9. The Coyote is always more humiliated than harmed by his failures.
10. The audience's sympathy must remain with the Coyote.
11. The Coyote is not allowed to catch or eat the Road Runner, unless he escapes from the grasp. (The robot that the Coyote created in The Solid Tin Coyote caught the Road Runner so this does not break this rule. The Coyote does catch the Road Runner in Soup or Sonic but is too small to eat him. There is also two CGI shorts on The Looney Tunes Show were he caught the bird, but was not able to eat him because the Road Runner got away in both shorts.)

Them It's like reading one of your blogs. :)