 Rockwell Automation Retroincabulator There is a spoof movie, which has become quite famous (or notorious) amongst geeks, which purports to be a description of a new device, supposedly manufactured by Rockwell International. It is full of technical sounding jargon, which gets increasingly more ridiculous as the movie proceeds. Some people never get it, they still assume it is a real device by the end, so it sort of acts as a measure of a person's geek credibility, based on how far through the movie they first begin to get the impression it might be BS, then when they fully realise it is. I find this very amusing, because I just love techno-babble, and as I said above, this just gradually escalates from mild jargon (example: "provide inverse reactive current") and marketing speak (example: "a new standard for quality, technological leadership, and operational excellence"), to full-on nonsense (example: "hydrocopic marzel vanes so fitted to the ambiphasient lunar wang shaft"). I'm not sure what the copyright status of this is, so I can't include the movie here, but Google (or Duck) it and have a look. I have included a transcript here though, for your entertainment! The Transcript Here at Rockwell Automation's world headquarters, research has been proceeding to provide a line of automation products that establishes a new standard for quality, technological leadership, and operational excellence. With customer success as our primary focus, work has been proceeding on the crudely conceived idea of an instrument that would not only provide inverse reactive current, for use in unilateral phase detractors but would also be capable of automatically synchronizing cardinal grammeters. Such an instrument, comprised of Dodge gears and bearings, Reliance electric Motors, Allen Bradley controls, and all monitored by Rockwell software is Rockwell Automation's retro-incabulator. Now basically, the only new principal involved is that instead of power being generated by the relative motion of conductors and fluxes its produced by the modial interaction of magneto reluctance, and capacitive duractance. The original machine had a base plate of prefamulated amulite surmounted by a malleable logarithmic casing in such a way that the two sperving bearings run a direct line with the panametric fam. The lineup consists simply of six hydrocopic marzel vanes so fitted to the ambiphasient lunar wang shaft that side fumbling was effectively prevented. The main winding was of the normal lotazode deltoid type placed in panendermic simi-boloid slots of the stator. Every seventh conductor being connected by a non-reversable tremi pipe to the differential gurdel spring on the up end of the grammeters. Moreover, whenever fluorescent score motion is required, it may also be employed in conjunction with a drawn reciperocation dingle arm to reduce sinusoil depleneration. The retro-incabulator has now reached a high level of development and its being successfully used in the operation of milferd trenyas. Its available soon, wherever Rockwell automation products are sold. Discussion Comment by AG on 2024-06-08 at 21:06:49: I am so happy a fellow geek has discovered this brilliant and funny material. Signed, A Geek. Comment by OJB on 2024-06-12 at 16:49:45: Agreed. To geeks, it is pretty funny. Non-geeks look at it and wonder what's the joke?
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RETROINCABULATOR